hair dying for the lazy

I've dyed my hair various colors since I was...16? Maybe even earlier. I've had literally every color and hair style under the sun - black, blue, pink, purple, red, green, blonde, natural red, highlights, etc., etc.  So I'm pretty casual about my hair routine and I don't generally worry about getting a haircut or trying a new color. For the last few years, I've had green hair (I love green, it's kind of ridiculous. And it goes nicely with my skin and eyes. So I stick with that). I had a big green mohawk for a while, but after I cut that off, I started dying some streaks of green. My hair's pretty dark, so I obviously have to bleach it first. But other than that I don't really put too much effort into my hair dying, for this reason:

IT IS JUST HAIR. You can cut it off, grow it out, or dye it back if you don't like what you've done to it. It's temporary. Yeah, your hair can say a lot about you, but you can wear a wig, put it under a hat, wear a kerchief, or just ignore it. It's not like you cut off an arm or something. Just hair, guys. It's just hair. So don't be afraid of doing awesome things to it! Shave your head, grow it down to your butt, get an asymmetrical haircut, dye it a wacky color. It's pretty fun. And if you don't like it - it will go away!

Anyway, on to the how-to. Don't be nervous. Relax. Lie back and think of England. This can be fun! (Ok, that became a weird metaphor. ANYWAY.)




1. Don't wash your hair for a couple days before you dye it. I know people have super different opinions on this clean vs. dirty hair thing, but my experience has been that the color always goes on better if you have dirty hair. So.
2. Gather your supplies:

• Bleach, if your hair is darker than the color you want. I always use powdered bleach and professional developer - generally Quick Blue and whatever developer the store has (I always go for the strongest developer, 30 if you can).
• A dying dish or a tupperware you don't care about.
• A hair dye brush. This is actually super helpful, so just go buy one. They're like $2.
• Latex gloves if you don't want your hands to get stained. I don't use them because I don't care. But if you want them, get a few pairs.
• Your new color. I've had good luck with Special Effects (although you can only buy it online these days) and Punky Color. I've heard good things about Manic Panic, but I never liked their green. I mix Special Effects Iguana Green and Punky Color Apple Green - it stays in about 3 months and I like the sheen and color.
• Color-safe shampoo and conditioner. This is important! Regular shampoos will strip the color (especially non-natural colors) really fast. Shampoos/conditioners without sulfates are best (i.e. the organic ones), but I used Pantene color-safe stuff for years and that worked just fine. Test a few out, and find the one that works for you. Color lasts a lot longer if you don't use a conditioner, but I know most of us cannot go without. So don't stress.
• A t-shirt you can get dirty. 
• Aluminum foil, hair ties, clips, and a hair dryer if you can.

3. Put on your gross t-shirt and your gloves. Dump your bleach powder into your tub or dish (I use about half a packet for the two strips of hair I do, but it can't hurt to use more) and pour in some developer. Mix with your brush until the bleach is not powder anymore - it shouldn't be super liquid or super solid. Let it sit and develop in the tub for a couple minutes. There are a lot of scary directions on the bleach, I know, but it's ok. It can't hurt you really unless you swallow it or put it in your eyes or whatever. So don't do that. (On that note, please don't bleach or dye your eyebrows yourself. Really. Too close to your eyes. If you want dyed eyebrows, go to a professional. I am serious).
4. Section out the hair you are dying. If you are doing your whole head, get someone to help you - you WILL miss spots. If you're just doing part of your hair, tie the rest back out of your way. Make sure the parts are straight and even, otherwise the dye job will look messy.
5. Use your brush to pile on the bleach. Get right up in the roots and make sure you saturate every strand. Seriously. Use all of the bleach if you can. When you've got it all on and you've made sure the whole length of your hair is covered in bleach, twist it up on your head and secure it with a tie or hair clip, so it doesn't swing all over and get bleach on your couch or pillow.
6. Hang out for 30-40 minutes. At the 30 minute mark, check the color to see if it's light enough. If it's not, let it sit for another 5-10, but don't go longer than 45 minutes, otherwise your hair and scalp will be absolutely fried. And yeah, it burns, but pain is beauty, right? (If after 45 minutes you still don't feel it's light enough, wait a day and re-bleach or go professional and get them to lighten it for you).
7. Wash it out. Use warm, but not hot water, and shampoo a couple times until your hair doesn't feel slimy any more. Don't use conditioner at this stage.
8. Dry your hair. I like to let it dry naturally because a) I hate blow-drying and b) I don't want to fry my hair more than it has been already, but you can blow-dry it if you're in a rush. Make sure your hair is super bone dry and de-tangled before the next step.
9. Put on a fresh set of gloves and dump some of your color into your (clean!) tub. Make sure your brush is free of bleach, and start piling on the color. This is where you can go crazy. Put on as much color as you can, then put on more. Comb through the colored parts with a brush or your fingers to make sure every strand is saturated. Twist your hair up, secure it, and give it one more good once over with color. Really, the more color the better. Don't be shy.
10. Once you've tied up your colored hair, cover it in foil. Make sure the foil is secure - clip it down and press it over the contours of the hair. Give the foil a good blast with the hair dryer (on hot!) for a few minutes. The heat and the foil help set the color into your hair. If you want to skip the foil part, go for it, but the color lasts a lot longer if you foil/blow-dry it.
11. Chill. I keep the color on for as long as I can. Every 30 minutes, give it another good hair-dryer blast. The directions always say to not go longer than 30 minutes, but it's fine. I generally try for about 3 solid hours (or four episodes of Law & Order) of coloring time. I've gone overnight a couple of times, but it doesn't seem to make a super big difference. After 3 or 4 hours, or however long, hop in the shower.
12. Again, warm not hot water. Shampoo a few times - until the water runs mostly clear. Condition your hair (it needs it!) and you're done. Always do a check to make sure you didn't miss any spots. Comb it out. If you can, sleep with a shower cap or kerchief the first night because sometimes the color will leach onto your pillow or bed, which is icky.

And that is that! I re-color about every 2 or 3 months, depending. I only bleach twice or three times a year because I don't want to kill my hair too much, but this is entirely up to you and how you feel about roots. I wash my hair every two or three days, so I don't know how long color will last for someone who is an every-day hair washer. But you can experiment.

The other awesome thing about having weird-colored hair is that people LOVE to talk to you about it. Like "Your hair is green!" (which is nice, but how do you respond? "Yes, it is!"? Who knows.) Or "Is that temporary?" or the best, "Is your hair naturally like that?" to which I always say "Absolutely it is!" The other good thing is that it is easy to spot you or tell people what you look like - the girl with the green hair is a pretty solid epithet in my opinion.

IT'S FUN.

THE END.